No matter what they say, Ross and Rachel aren’t the best Friends romance. We have proof (and no doubt). Among other things, these 10 lessons that we can learn from the Monica/Chandler couple to have a perfect relationship. All commented by Elena Requena, one of our favorite experts, sexologist, couples counselor, but also series enthusiast.
1. Know (really) your partner
Monica and Chandler had been friends for a long time before their romantic relationship began, which does not mean that it is an essential condition for the relationship to work, but it is another: knowing your partner well, his virtues and its faults, without idealizing anything. And this happens over time.
When a couple is born from a relationship of friendship, it is as if we have already traveled part of the way. Knowing each other from another point of view, seeing how this person connects outside of a romantic relationship, gives us a lot of information and a lot of confidence to start a life as a couple together.
2. Pineapple in bad times
Another habit that Monica and Chandler incorporated as friends but later retained as a couple. He has many family problems, she is not coping with her relationships and her desire to have children. They have always been there to support each other at all times.
Elena: We learn that over time, and with a lot of good will. The pineapple is about being together in the face of what is to come, giving each other strength, support and love in the face of difficulties. Knowing that you can count on the other no matter what, that you have this person as a refuge and to defend you.
3. Don’t try to change the other
Monica and Chandler are probably the most unlikely couple on the show: she’s bossy, serious and competitive; he is funny, awkward and chaotic. But they complement each other perfectly because they accept each other and don’t try to change each other.
Elena: What we love about each other is an infinite number of coincidences, sometimes characteristics so deep that we can’t even describe them. This is why the process of love and why we choose one person and not another has almost magical hues. There is something that you could describe as the essence of this person that touches us. Trying to change others is a very unconstructive exercise and one that generally ends badly.
4. Communicate and reach agreements
Perhaps the biggest misunderstanding between Monica and Chandler has to do with commitment. Early in their relationship, he tries to ask her to marry him, but she refuses because she knows he does it because he thinks she wants him. A similar entanglement also occurs before they officially commit, a decision they end up making together.
Elena: The basis of any relationship is communication, trust and honesty. If these ingredients are given, any bad eventuality that may arise will be discussed and accepted. The same thing happens to Monica and Chandler.