Mark Harmon Shares the Charming Story Behind How He First Asked Out Wife Pam Dawber
During his 18-season run as the quietly formidable Leroy Jethro Gibbs on NCIS, Mark Harmon earned a reputation for being one of television’s most stoic yet magnetic leading men. While his character’s onscreen relationships were often turbulent and tinged with heartbreak, Harmon’s real-life love story is quite the opposite — and it all started with a bold move and a phone call.
Harmon, now 72, has been married to actress Pam Dawber for over 37 years, a rarity in Hollywood. Best known for her role as Mindy opposite Robin Williams in the classic 1980s sitcom Mork & Mindy, Dawber was one of television’s biggest stars during the same era when Harmon was rising to fame in dramas like St. Elsewhere and Flamingo Road. By 1986, Harmon had also earned the title of People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive,” but when it came to courting his future wife, he opted for something old-fashioned.
In a 2023 interview with People, Harmon revealed the unconventional yet charming way he first asked Dawber out. The couple were introduced by a mutual friend in the mid-1980s, and although the original plan was to meet in a group setting, Harmon had something more direct in mind.
“I said, ‘Can I just call? Can I get a number and just cold call?'” Harmon recalled. “And so I did. I got the number, and I called, and I got an answering machine. And I started to leave a message that said, ‘We don’t have to all go out. We could get a cup of coffee or something.’ And then she was monitoring and she picked up. We went out that night and we’re together ever since.”
Their romance quickly blossomed. Exactly one year after that first date, Harmon and Dawber tied the knot on March 21, 1987, in an intimate ceremony at a chapel in the San Fernando Valley’s Studio City area. The couple then headed to Vancouver, British Columbia for their honeymoon — which also doubled as a work trip, as Harmon was filming the CBS TV movie After the Promise at the time.
Their family grew soon after. The couple welcomed their first son, Sean Thomas Harmon, on April 25, 1988. Four years later, their second son, Ty Christian, was born on June 25, 1992. Sean would go on to make guest appearances on NCIS, even portraying a young version of his father’s character in flashbacks.
Despite their fame, the couple has long prioritized privacy over publicity. Rarely seen together on red carpets or in the tabloid spotlight, their marriage has been grounded in quiet commitment. In a 2017 interview with TV Insider, Harmon addressed this choice.
“It’s not even a choice,” he said. “It’s who we are. We stay home. A lot. I’m not a Twitter guy or a Facebook guy. Our sons aren’t into that either. Pam and I have both made a living in this business, and still, there’s a part of that that’s just not natural.”
Dawber echoed a similar sentiment back in 1987, shortly before their wedding. “We’re not trying to keep something secret,” she told People magazine at the time. “But if you don’t want it totally exploited by the press, you have to.”
Throughout their marriage, Dawber stepped away from full-time acting to focus on raising their children. Speaking to Entertainment Tonight in 2016, she said, “I was in a number one show. I had my own deal. I got to do Broadway. I got to do musical theater. I got to do cartoon voices. I did everything you can do in this business, and then I had children, and it’s like, ‘I’m not going to chase this fame thing.’”
Though she largely stayed away from the spotlight for years, Dawber returned to the screen in 2021 for a special appearance on NCIS, playing investigative journalist Marcie Warren in a multi-episode arc opposite her husband. Fans loved seeing the couple work together onscreen for the first time.
Now, with Harmon stepping into a producer role for the upcoming NCIS prequel series NCIS: Origins, which will explore the early years of Gibbs’ career, it remains to be seen whether Dawber might pop up once again — perhaps for another memorable cameo.
But regardless of future appearances, the story of how Mark Harmon dialed Pam Dawber’s number all those years ago remains a testament to their enduring bond — one built not on celebrity, but on simplicity, sincerity, and a willingness to take a chance on love.
