How Derek’s Death in Grey’s Anatomy Actually Saved His Marriage to Meredith (Yes, Really!)

Derek’s death in Grey’s Anatomy season 11 ranks high amongst the medical drama’s most heartbreaking tragedies, but as sad as it was, it saved his and Meredith’s marriage in one unlikely way. Derek spent the majority of Grey’s Anatomy season 11 between Seattle and Washington, DC due to the President’s brain mapping initiative, making his last season work as a setup for whenever he wouldn’t be there anymore among Grey Sloan Memorial’s doctors. Derek’s death following the car crash and his case’s mismanagement at the remote hospital was heart-wrenching to watch, but it also oddly saved his relationship with Meredith.

Surviving six seasons, Derek and Meredith’s marriage was among the longest at that time, with the two handling their problems, no matter how big. However, the medical drama is notoriously never merciful on its characters, whether that means Grey’s Anatomy killing off its main characters brutally or breaking them up through the most heartbreaking storylines. To this day, only three main married couples survived without divorcing in the medical drama, making a couple’s wedding already foreshadow their future drama-filled breakup in Grey’s Anatomy given the high divorce rate. Derek and Meredith managed to nonetheless avoid that fate through Derek’s death.

Grey’s Anatomy Seasons 10 & 11 Showed Meredith & Derek Were Headed For A Divorce

Meredith & Derek Fought Incessantly Throughout Both Seasons

Grey’s Anatomy seasons 10 and 11 were among the most challenging for Meredith. Her prolonged fight with Cristina over their friendship changing and feeling left behind as she juggled career and family while Cristina could focus exclusively on the former enraged Meredith after Derek entertained the possibility of leading the President’s brain mapping initiative. Indeed, Meredith felt Derek had gone back on his word by taking on that project after his time was already devoted to his and Callie’s vets project and after he had promised to take care of their family so that Meredith could focus on her career.

In the Grey’s Anatomy season 11 episodes before Derek’s death, not only did Meredith and Derek have their most vicious fights, but Derek also only realized he wanted to be with Meredith after one of the researchers he worked with in DC kissed him. Although this led to Meredith and Derek rekindling their relationship in the episodes directly preceding Grey’s Anatomy season 11, episode 21, “How to Save a Life,” their problems were never really solved. Even if it wasn’t the President’s initiative anymore, some other project would have eventually taken Derek’s attention, rationally leading to Meredith and Derek’s divorce.

Derek Dying Was Heartbreaking, But It Preserved His Love Story With Meredith

Meredith & Audiences Alike Remember The Positives Of Her And Derek’s History

Derek’s goodbye episode in Grey’s Anatomy season 11 was brutal, because of how he died and what that caused to Meredith. Still, after the immediate aftermath, Derek’s death saved his marriage to Meredith because it prompted her to remember and cherish the good times with him instead of the bad ones. Derek’s death had a lasting effect on Meredith and only in recent seasons does she seem more at peace. Still, when thinking back to their romance, Derek’s heartbreaking fate inevitably lets Meredith focus on the good their relationship brought rather than the bad.

No matter how Meredith and Derek’s last months together were brimming with fights and an unwillingness to see the other’s perspective, Derek’s death brought to the screen the key moments of his and Meredith’s relationship via her memories, impressing on her mind how his ending might have been tragic, but their history was doubtlessly good. Had Meredith and Derek let their problems divide them and destroy their relationship, they would have been left with spite. Instead, their fights let them cherish the good in their relationship, and Derek’s sudden death reminded Meredith to appreciate life’s ephemerality.

How Grey’s Anatomy Could Have Kept Meredith & Derek Together If Patrick Dempsey Didn’t Leave

Grey’s Anatomy Would Have Had To Challenge Them Constantly To Keep Them Together

With Dempsey’s wish to leave the show requiring the end of Meredith and Derek’s story, Grey’s Anatomy had few options left, which could have either included a breakup – thus negating the medical drama’s postulate that MerDer were like “a romance novel,” like Callie put it – or his death. Derek’s death effectively provided a sad but still clear-cut ending to their story, while also preserving the established narrative that they were relationship goals, something their breakup couldn’t have done.

All Major Grey’s Anatomy Couples Who Got Married And Divorced Onscreen
George O’Malley	Callie Torres
Derek Shepherd	Addison Montgomery
Alex Karev	Izzie Stevens
Cristina Yang	Owen Hunt
Callie Torres	Arizona Robbins
Amelia Shepherd	Owen Hunt
Jackson Avery	April Kepner
Jo Wilson	Alex Karev
Maggie Pierce	Winston Ndugu

However, Meredith and Derek’s marriage could have looked massively different had Dempsey wanted to remain in Grey’s Anatomy instead of departing in season 11. The few longstanding marriages in the medical drama after all prove that Grey’s Anatomy can create drama without having to permanently break up couples, but only threatening that every now and then, like it happened with Richard and Catherine, or Owen and Teddy. Another thing Grey’s Anatomy could have done was to let Meredith and Derek follow Ben and Bailey’s example by making their relationship more stable, still challenging them, but with their union remaining strong.