“The nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled
correctly.”
“Laughter through tears
is my favorite emotion.”
“I don’t trust anybody that does their own hair. I
don’t think it’s normal.”
“Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the ’80s. If you can achieve puberty, you
can achieve a past.”
“I’m just screamin’ at my husband. I can do that
any time!”
“Well, these thighs haven’t gone out of the house without Lycra on
them since I was 14.”
“I can usually spot a
bottle job at 20 paces.”
“Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it’s marchin’
across your face.”
“There’s so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but
boys and money.”
“When it comes to pain and suffering, she’s right
up there with
Elizabeth Taylor.”
“It takes some effort to
look like this.”
“Sammy’s so confused he don’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind
his butt.”
