It’s hard to believe that it’s been 35 years since Steel Magnolias graced the big screen, delivering a powerful story of love, friendship, and loss. This 1989 film, directed by Herbert Ross, still resonates deeply with audiences today. Through its unforgettable performances, especially from an all-star cast featuring Sally Field, Dolly Parton, Julia Roberts, and Shirley MacLaine, Steel Magnolias has left a lasting imprint on both our hearts and minds.
The movie is a quintessential blend of humor, emotion, and raw human experiences, and it offers countless lessons that we carry with us. From dealing with grief to celebrating the strength of women, here are 15 lessons we learned from watching Steel Magnolias—a film that continues to inspire us three decades later.
1. The Power of Female Friendship
“Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.” – Truvy
One of the biggest takeaways from Steel Magnolias is the value of female friendships. The film showcases how women can lift each other up, offer unwavering support, and share both joyous and difficult moments together. Whether it’s Truvy’s salon, where the women gather to share gossip, or the heart-wrenching moments of grief, Steel Magnolias teaches us that the bond between women is strong, unbreakable, and transformative.
2. Grief Can Be Both Private and Shared
“I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.” – Shelby
One of the most emotional aspects of Steel Magnolias is the portrayal of grief—particularly the grief of losing a loved one. The film explores how each character copes with Shelby’s passing differently, and yet, they all support each other through it. Grief doesn’t have a set timeline or a “right” way to process it. But sharing that sorrow with those who understand can bring healing.
3. Strength Comes in Many Forms
“You know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!” – Ouiser
In Steel Magnolias, strength is not just about physical endurance but also emotional resilience. The women of the film show strength through their ability to persevere in the face of adversity, whether it’s dealing with illness, heartbreak, or personal struggles. Ouiser, for example, is tough on the outside but deeply loyal and protective underneath. Each character exemplifies strength in their unique way.
4. Celebrate Life, Even in the Hardest Moments
“You know, I always thought that I’d be really good at getting old, but I can’t seem to figure it out.” – Clairee
Steel Magnolias teaches us to cherish the fleeting nature of life. It reminds us that even in the most difficult times, laughter and joy are still possible. The film’s quirky humor, especially in the form of Clairee’s one-liners, serves as a reminder that life is to be lived to the fullest, no matter the circumstances.
5. The Importance of Family
“My baby’s gonna be fine. I’m not worried about that. I’m just worried about you.” – M’Lynn
The film highlights the importance of family, whether biological or chosen. M’Lynn’s devotion to Shelby and her concern for her daughter’s well-being are palpable throughout the film. The unconditional love and sacrifices that family members make for each other are central themes that make Steel Magnolias so powerful.
6. Embrace Your Unique Qualities
“I’d rather have a few minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.” – Shelby
Shelby’s character reminds us that it’s okay to be different. She is a woman who defies traditional expectations by living with diabetes but still striving for independence and a full life. Steel Magnolias encourages us to embrace our quirks and live authentically, no matter what others may think.
7. Vulnerability is Not a Weakness
“I can’t believe I’m getting married! To a man who has absolutely no idea what he’s getting himself into!” – Shelby
Shelby’s vulnerability, especially regarding her illness and her fears of marriage and motherhood, is a central aspect of her character. In a world that often values toughness, Steel Magnolias teaches us that showing vulnerability is a form of strength. It’s about being open and honest with those you love.
8. Stand Up for What You Believe In
“I don’t know if I could handle a situation like that. I think I’d go crazy.” – Truvy
The women in Steel Magnolias are not afraid to speak their minds, and this includes standing up for what they believe in, whether it’s about love, friendship, or personal boundaries. Each character has moments where they assert their own beliefs and values, teaching us that it’s important to stand firm in our convictions.
9. Laughter is a Powerful Healing Tool
“If you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!” – Ouiser
Humor in Steel Magnolias is more than just comic relief; it’s a way for the characters to cope with the most difficult of situations. Whether it’s Ouiser’s sharp wit or Clairee’s lighthearted commentary, the film demonstrates how laughter can bring comfort and relief during times of stress, pain, and grief.
10. Life Doesn’t Always Go as Planned, and That’s Okay
“I would like to know why there’s a glass of iced tea on the piano.” – M’Lynn
No one’s life follows a perfect script. In Steel Magnolias, each character faces unexpected challenges that force them to adapt and change. M’Lynn, in particular, has to come to terms with her daughter’s health struggles, a heartbreaking reality that was never part of her life plan. The film teaches us that adaptability is key, and sometimes life’s unpredictability leads to the most meaningful moments.
11. Never Underestimate the Strength of a Woman
“I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!” – Ouiser
Every woman in Steel Magnolias demonstrates immense strength. From Truvy, the nurturing salon owner, to Ouiser, the grumpy but tough-as-nails character, each woman proves that strength doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all definition. Their ability to tackle life’s challenges—big and small—is an empowering message that still resonates.
12. Let Go of Fear and Live in the Moment
“You know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!” – Ouiser
Shelby’s story is a powerful reminder to live life to the fullest, even when faced with challenges. She doesn’t let her illness stop her from pursuing her dreams, even in the face of uncertainty. Steel Magnolias teaches us that while fear is inevitable, it doesn’t have to control our lives.
13. The Healing Power of Rituals and Traditions
“This is a wonderful thing to do for your friend, and I don’t want to hear any more talk about it.” – M’Lynn
The women’s close-knit community and the rituals they share—whether it’s getting their hair done at Truvy’s salon or supporting one another through personal crises—show us the value of traditions and shared experiences. These bonds and rituals can serve as powerful sources of comfort in difficult times.
14. Take Time to Show Appreciation
“You make me feel like I’m part of something really special.” – Clairee
In Steel Magnolias, the women consistently show appreciation for one another. Whether it’s through words of affirmation, acts of kindness, or simply being there when needed, the characters understand the importance of showing gratitude. The film encourages us to let our loved ones know how much we appreciate them, even in the smallest ways.
15. Live with Passion, No Matter What
“I’m not a good person to talk to right now, I’m not even a good person to be around.” – Shelby
Despite her illness, Shelby refuses to let it define her. Her passion for life, love, and the pursuit of happiness is evident in everything she does, from getting married to creating a family. Steel Magnolias teaches us that passion for life is essential—no matter how many obstacles we may face along the way.
Conclusion: The Timeless Wisdom of Steel Magnolias’ 35th Anniversary
35 years later, Steel Magnolias remains one of the most beloved and impactful films in cinematic history
