At the heart of Grey’s Anatomy is Ellen Pompeo’s Dr. Meredith Grey and Derek’s love story, but this sits alongside central themes of ambition and self-fulfillment, especially concerning the show’s female characters. Meredith is on a journey to become the best surgeon and person she can be, and love and sexuality are very much a part of her story. There are times when it seems like Meredith has won the lottery when it comes to Derek, but others when he tarnishes his own dreamy reputation by making things more difficult for her or just being plain unlikable.
Derek Cheats On Meredith (& Addison)
Derek Never Totally Breaks His Cheating Habit
Grey’s Anatomy tends to skirt around Derek’s infidelity habits by providing justification or playing it down as only a kiss or flirting. When Derek kisses a co-worker while in Washington, D.C. — while he and Meredith are at one of their worst rough patches — he does end it before it goes any further, and immediately goes home to Meredith. However, he tries to cover up this incident at first, which in and of itself is worse given how Derek and Meredith started, and some of his interactions with other women while they were officially together in the past.
Namely, Meredith is terrified of history repeating itself. Derek and Addison (Kate Walsh) are essentially separated when he first meets Meredith, but they definitely pass a point where he needs to tell her the truth. Derek also makes a point of telling Meredith that he flirted with another woman at a bar or had a moment with a nurse when they are together, seemingly to point out that their relationship needs to be fixed. It always comes back to how happy he is in the relationship at a given moment when he is the one who keeps toeing the line.
Derek Tries To Force Alex & Izzie To Move Out
Derek Automatically Assumes Authority When Moving In With Meredith
Meredith has commitment issues — which Derek knows — so their moving in together is a tentative step forward. Considering this, Derek is very presumptuous before he has even officially moved in, assuming Alex (Justin Chambers) and Izzie (Katherine Heigl) are moving out and measuring a bedroom for a potential office. When Meredith makes it clear that this isn’t happening yet, that Alex and Izzie are family to her, Derek backs down. However, the moment showcases his tendency to assume that he knows what’s what, and to start moving forward without consulting Meredith.
Derek Accuses Meredith Of Being Like Her Mother
Derek Uses Meredith’s Difficult Relationship With Ellis As A Go-To Insult
Things look bleak for “MerDer” when Derek gets an offer to work for the president, which would take him across the country. Derek has made the decision to stay in Seattle and has to live with it, while Meredith is just trying to get on with work when Derek says that Meredith sounds just like her mother by dismissing him. It’s really one of Derek’s lowest moments, to use something that he knows is deeply painful for Meredith to make his point, calling her out as being uncaring about him and his career.
Derek Breaks His Promise To Meredith To Support Her Career
Derek’s Career Will Always Be Miles Ahead
Becoming a mother is something Meredith never entirely imagined herself doing, and figuring out how to balance work and parenthood is a strenuous endeavor for her. Of course, the parenting duties seem to fall upon her rather than Derek. He promises that he will step up and allow her more work time for at least a year — until he gets a better offer. However, an offer like this could come at any time, making his commitment to Meredith all the more important, as she is years behind him in her career and needs the support.
Derek Accuses Meredith Of Sleeping Around
Derek Is Plain Mysoginistic In This Moment
Derek breaks up with Meredith to give his marriage to Addison a shot, and she copes with heartbreak and being Seattle Grace’s pariah in various ways. She makes the poor choice of sleeping with a close friend, but then starts potentially a real relationship with a veterinarian. And the latter is what makes Derek jealous, prompting him to make some frankly sexist comments, suggesting she is sleeping around. Meredith delivers a great speech, starting with “You don’t get to call me a w****,” but it is one of Derek’s worst moments in Grey’s Anatomy that shows how his emotions motivate egotistical actions.
